Before you read any further I must warn you this is a hard post. One might even call it a bit harsh. It may even seem like I am stepping on your toes. Or that I am trying to tear down the progress you think you have made. I understand. I see you trying to balance all those things. You struggle so hard to balance life. You are striving to be the perfect tightrope walker balancing plates on a pole on top of your head. That is what your balanced life really looks like and I want more for you. You can stop here, close this post, and walk away. Or you can take a deep breath and read on. Chocolate would probably help.
I am not sure why we Christian women have perpetuated the lie of a balanced life. It is a lie our selfie culture and “me time” mantras state we must achieve. But here is the rub….. it is unattainable. Balance was never meant to be attained here on Earth. The Bible does not talk about balance. It talks about trials and tribulations. Jesus says he will set families against one another. How balanced can we get if the world hates us because of our faith?
What you need is to trade balance for priorities. Those priorities should be God, others, and then self. There is no balance between those. Trust me I have tried and I have failed miserably. My priorities should have been God, my husband, my kids, friends/family and then me. But I was all whacked out on what should have been most important. It was a detriment to my family as well as to me.
I tried really hard to walk that tightrope with all my plates. But they kept shattering on the ground below. I was always out of alignment. Balance failed to deliver the promises of a good life. I was working so hard that I lost focus on God. I thought if I just worked hard enough then I could achieve balance. Surprise, surprise works based anything in God’s economy doesn’t, well, work. Once I rejected balance and started to relearn what God wanted of me I found the peace that surpasses all understanding. I bet you are striving for balance and still have discontentment in your soul. Stop the struggle and learn to prioritize God.
When you put God first and seek out His wisdom you can find that peace that surpasses all understanding for yourself. Balance has nothing to do with it. Your life can be all out of whack but your soul will be at peace. You can learn to let go and let God do His work. By letting go of balance you also realize that you will have days that will just be miserable. The days where you just want to throw in the towel and walk away. If you are seeking balance you just try to readjust and trudge through and probably are making things worse in the process. If you are seeking God you cry out to Him and He will give you the perspective you need; His perspective and not the illusion of your balanced perspective.
Another benefit of abandoning balance is that you learn how to do self-care well. Let me explain. The self-care the world tells us we should do doesn’t even bring balance. It is a slow decent to selfishness. Self-care in the frame of priorities shows us our limitations and if we need a nap we should take a nap. It also allows our self-care time to be interrupted by a husband, kids, family or friends without begrudging them of their deep need. Notice I wrote “deep need”. Biblical priorities teach me what is a want vs a need. More specifically it teaches me what I need vs what I want. This is the crux of the matter between self-care and selfishness.
So when my “me time” is interrupted because of a genuine need I know I can reschedule my time, minister to my loved ones, and do it without bitterness creeping into my heart. Prioritizing God not only helps me to understand my limitations but it also shows me that I should seek out help and stop being Wonder Woman. I can not be my own all in all. I can not be anyone’s all. Only God fills that void. And He has given us community to help us in our limitations. We are, after all, the family of God.
So can I ask you, dear Sister in Christ, to abandon your balance? Can I ask you to seek out God’s purpose for you? Can I ask you to study the scriptures and find out how God sees you? He wants a relationship with you! He isn’t waiting for you to get your act together and balance your life. He is here, now, wanting to commune with you through is Word and through Prayer. Take His hand and let go of the lie of balance. You will never look back.